Back from some time off. The SPE conference was fun and I was able to see some good lectures, get some information and books. My week in California was filled with lots of reading and rest. I did some shooting while I was there. Today I spent all day in the studio printing which was great. Getting organized for my meeting with Jesseca. I need to photograph more in my apartment but before vacation there was construction in my bathroom so I haven't really been home. I am trying to focus and write my next thought piece I have read enough just trying to get my ideas focused. I feel very lost in my thoughts right now trying to still move through this awkward phase in my work. It was nice in Colorado to see AIB classmates and talk through some ideas. Rebekah said she would start calling me a nomad after I spoke with her about some of my work. I began thinking about that and there is a part of me that is constantly moving from one place to another, whether it's one home to another or my apartment to my boyfriends apartment. Constantly occupying my space as well as others that are close to me. I keep focusing on what the work is about while trying to move through these ideas. I don't seem to have one idea around place which I think is fine. I just don't know if it's enough... Being in California and spending time with my family reminded my that I have the one who moves. Not in a bad way it just allowed me to feel some steadiness to these ideas that center around me growing up in two different places. I keep focusing on ideas Space and Place.

Painting by Rackstraw Downes, The East River with Gracie Mansion and the Triborough Bridge, 1981-82

I took a bunch of books out of the library the other day, trying to just look and see as much as possible as I push through the awkwardness I am currently feeling around my work. Looking at many painters currently I was going through a book of Rackstraw Downes work when I cam across the image above. My mind was immediately flooded with childhood memories. That was the view from my parents apartment looking out onto the East River with Gracie Mansion below. I even remembered sledding down that hill and Carl Schurz park is there too. I was attracted to many of his other paintings but this one clearly stuck out because of the immediate personal connection. I enjoyed seeing the way he painted multiple vantage points of an area how can that change the viewers understanding of the place. This view above may not have been the exact one I saw as a child but the elements of the landscape are there.
I have been thinking a lot about place, and I'm don't have a clear sense of mine. I do know that I need to try and answer some of my questions as I make my work. Lots of ideas are running through my head and I'm working on some of them. Later I will be loading some images from work I did over the weekend. I did some self-portraits in an attempt to bring some life into my work however, I don't know if the images of me are really getting any closer to my place.
The other night I watched the Mother Project about Tierney Gearon's work it was a beautiful documentary that Kate Philbrick had recommended. While her work is different than mine I seemed to relate to some of her struggles. Today I went to the Fogg to see the Moyra Davey show Long Life Cool White. I was interested in a sentence from the introduction to her work by Helen Molesworth, "Davey's oeuvre: a close attention to detail, in which the eye is trained on what is conventionally overlooked combined with, the precision that photography can offer and a sensitivity to psychological themes embedded in everyday objects." This caught my attention because I too have been photographing stills of objects in my life as well some of the landscapes I photograph which I see as a representation from my day. I am interested in that sense of meaning to make connections to the landscape, place, and things I see everyday that can be overlooked.
I plan to seek some answers to my questions as I go on vacation in a week. Work has been hectic and it's time for a break. I'm off to the SPE conference on Friday in Colorado and I get to see Liz S. and Rebekah. Then I'm off to California for some sun and relaxation with my family. Then I'll be back in the studio upon my return since I will have one more week of vacation. Until then I have a couple shows to see before I go and few more things to do in the studio.
This weekend I began setting a piece up in the corner of my studio laying images out to create almost a map of my day/life. I also plan to play with some other ways to show my work perhaps that will lead to more of an understanding of where to go with my ideas around place.

Laura McPhee

Last week I worked on my Critical Theory II paper. I also tried a small project to shoot one roll of film a day of my surroundings. It was tougher than I thought it would be, many of the days I could only get half a roll done it seemed too dark in the am and then not that much light when I got home. I don't know why I just didn't want to take a lot of flash photos. I just picked them up today and I plan to lay them out in my studio tomorrow.
Thursday I went to the Arno Rafael Minkkinen lecture sponsored by the PRC, it was great. I really enjoy his images and the lecture good too. He spoke to the truthfulness of the photographic image which I found interesting in this digital age and also spoke about serendipity in life. My favorite analogy he made about work he was speaking about a Helsinki bus station you leave the station and you find a way maybe you stay on the bus instead of getting off eventually you find your way, this idea of working through the work. Which was great because that's currently how I feel about my work confused and not sure where it's going. I'm just trying to work through it. Saturday I went to the DeCordova to hear Laura McPhee speak about her work in the show there, images from her project River of No Return in Idaho. I enjoyed when she spoke about this place (Idaho) she wanted to enter but wasn't sure how after growing up in Central NJ. I have included an image above I just love the vastness in that work and not just because of the size but also that place...out west everything is just so big.
I have more books from the library to go through and some exhibitions to check out still. While I feel confused I'm trying to keep working and just see a lot and read hoping that it helps. Well I'm tired off to bed....

My mind seems to ramble lately about place..I continue to question what that means to me. I began to think about my childhood homes but that no longer feels like my place rather more of someplace I visit. So then what becomes my place? Is it where I currently live just because it's my address? Is that ok that my sense is more than one place especially since I grew up knowing more than one place as my home? What is it then I'm trying to say is it about home or place are they interchangeable? How then can I further push my sense of place visually, an idea I had this weekend was to put portraits with places? is that really getting at my own sense of place. I need to further investigate the self-portraits.
I met with my mentor Jesseca Ferguson for the first time last Thursday. It was a good first meeting she gave me some other artist's and books to look at. I have been photographing myself in my surroundings and objects within my apartment and outside and in my neighborhood. Jesseca suggested pushing beyond just straight photography spreading out my ideas on the wall of my studio and make different parts of my home. We discussed some images I had put into two grids on my studio wall. I challenged myself to photograph one roll of film inside my apartment and another one outside in one afternoon. I am currently pushing that further by shooting one roll a day for an entire week. Today I did not get all the way through my 36 exp roll but my plan is to finish it tomorrow. The challenge for me is the light, I photographed this evening a little with flash. This should be an interesting experiment.
This weekend I spent some time outdoors but also watched Edward Burtynsky Manufactured Landscapes, it was a beautiful documentary. I really loved what he said at the end of the film that while his work is making a political statement, he wants the work to be more about the conclusion the viewer makes rather than pushing his work as a political statement.

Finally feeling like a human again after being sick this past week, thank god for a few more days off from work. Went to the studio yesterday to organize some work and go through some ideas I definitely need to just keep pushing through my ideas. Not really sure where my ideas are taking me right now but I goal for the semester is to be uncomfortable and I am feeling that.
Went to the DeCordova to see the new photography show which was just what I needed. See some other work for inspiration it was a big show with a mix photographers work. I enjoyed the landscape photographs of Elke Morris she photographs in Maine and then creates a sense of place in photoshop. There was a mixed media piece by Peter Sullivan that created a sense of layers and information.
I am still thinking about ideas of place and how can I visually push those ideas. I tried some drawings of maps of home from my mind I'm not really happen with the sketches. I did photograph maps again so I'm planning to work with them in photoshop.

Ugh I'm sick, and home from work. Everything finally caught up to me. I have a lot of printing I want to get done, last week I did a bunch of shooting that I was happy with. Lots of self-portraits and some studies of my interior and exterior space which I had printed and I'm looking at in a grid. Lot's of ideas still flowing I'm trying to keep working through the weirdness. I have been reading and watching Art 21 season 3. While resting I'm trying to work on some more reading today.

Getting back into it...well it's finally happening I am able to balance everything a little better. The first two weeks back at work were rough to say the least. I have been shooting a lot and just finished my residency summary so I have a lot of information floating around in my brain. After writing my paper some of my bigger questions are why am I photographing place? What does place mean to me? I've been thinking a lot about the landscape I photograph, I started doing some self portraits and more interior shots I am interested to see how those will look together with outside landscapes. Yesterday I thought about photographing myself but in my different places, such as my parents house, my apartment, etc and creating a sequence from that. Perhaps photographing in different rooms and making connections. My work feels like it is in an awkward place and I know I need to take a risk so I am just shooting and hoping to both work through it and find that jump I need to make in my work.
On Friday I went to First Friday on Harrison ave, despite the rain it as fun to look around. I enjoyed Lissa Rivera's work of private schools and Greek life. Especially her work of private schools it is interesting to see the spaces empty something she perhaps planned yet on a normal say that wouldn't be the case. I thought about that in connection to my own lonely landscapes, images of the city that seem empty. I have also been looking into lectures and upcoming shows I want to see. I have been in touch with my mentor Jesseca and we will hopefully be meeting next week. I am really looking forward to getting started with that. Now I'm off to more shooting and reading!