Back from some time off. The SPE conference was fun and I was able to see some good lectures, get some information and books. My week in California was filled with lots of reading and rest. I did some shooting while I was there. Today I spent all day in the studio printing which was great. Getting organized for my meeting with Jesseca. I need to photograph more in my apartment but before vacation there was construction in my bathroom so I haven't really been home. I am trying to focus and write my next thought piece I have read enough just trying to get my ideas focused. I feel very lost in my thoughts right now trying to still move through this awkward phase in my work. It was nice in Colorado to see AIB classmates and talk through some ideas. Rebekah said she would start calling me a nomad after I spoke with her about some of my work. I began thinking about that and there is a part of me that is constantly moving from one place to another, whether it's one home to another or my apartment to my boyfriends apartment. Constantly occupying my space as well as others that are close to me. I keep focusing on what the work is about while trying to move through these ideas. I don't seem to have one idea around place which I think is fine. I just don't know if it's enough... Being in California and spending time with my family reminded my that I have the one who moves. Not in a bad way it just allowed me to feel some steadiness to these ideas that center around me growing up in two different places. I keep focusing on ideas Space and Place.

Painting by Rackstraw Downes, The East River with Gracie Mansion and the Triborough Bridge, 1981-82

I took a bunch of books out of the library the other day, trying to just look and see as much as possible as I push through the awkwardness I am currently feeling around my work. Looking at many painters currently I was going through a book of Rackstraw Downes work when I cam across the image above. My mind was immediately flooded with childhood memories. That was the view from my parents apartment looking out onto the East River with Gracie Mansion below. I even remembered sledding down that hill and Carl Schurz park is there too. I was attracted to many of his other paintings but this one clearly stuck out because of the immediate personal connection. I enjoyed seeing the way he painted multiple vantage points of an area how can that change the viewers understanding of the place. This view above may not have been the exact one I saw as a child but the elements of the landscape are there.
I have been thinking a lot about place, and I'm don't have a clear sense of mine. I do know that I need to try and answer some of my questions as I make my work. Lots of ideas are running through my head and I'm working on some of them. Later I will be loading some images from work I did over the weekend. I did some self-portraits in an attempt to bring some life into my work however, I don't know if the images of me are really getting any closer to my place.
The other night I watched the Mother Project about Tierney Gearon's work it was a beautiful documentary that Kate Philbrick had recommended. While her work is different than mine I seemed to relate to some of her struggles. Today I went to the Fogg to see the Moyra Davey show Long Life Cool White. I was interested in a sentence from the introduction to her work by Helen Molesworth, "Davey's oeuvre: a close attention to detail, in which the eye is trained on what is conventionally overlooked combined with, the precision that photography can offer and a sensitivity to psychological themes embedded in everyday objects." This caught my attention because I too have been photographing stills of objects in my life as well some of the landscapes I photograph which I see as a representation from my day. I am interested in that sense of meaning to make connections to the landscape, place, and things I see everyday that can be overlooked.
I plan to seek some answers to my questions as I go on vacation in a week. Work has been hectic and it's time for a break. I'm off to the SPE conference on Friday in Colorado and I get to see Liz S. and Rebekah. Then I'm off to California for some sun and relaxation with my family. Then I'll be back in the studio upon my return since I will have one more week of vacation. Until then I have a couple shows to see before I go and few more things to do in the studio.
This weekend I began setting a piece up in the corner of my studio laying images out to create almost a map of my day/life. I also plan to play with some other ways to show my work perhaps that will lead to more of an understanding of where to go with my ideas around place.

Laura McPhee

Last week I worked on my Critical Theory II paper. I also tried a small project to shoot one roll of film a day of my surroundings. It was tougher than I thought it would be, many of the days I could only get half a roll done it seemed too dark in the am and then not that much light when I got home. I don't know why I just didn't want to take a lot of flash photos. I just picked them up today and I plan to lay them out in my studio tomorrow.
Thursday I went to the Arno Rafael Minkkinen lecture sponsored by the PRC, it was great. I really enjoy his images and the lecture good too. He spoke to the truthfulness of the photographic image which I found interesting in this digital age and also spoke about serendipity in life. My favorite analogy he made about work he was speaking about a Helsinki bus station you leave the station and you find a way maybe you stay on the bus instead of getting off eventually you find your way, this idea of working through the work. Which was great because that's currently how I feel about my work confused and not sure where it's going. I'm just trying to work through it. Saturday I went to the DeCordova to hear Laura McPhee speak about her work in the show there, images from her project River of No Return in Idaho. I enjoyed when she spoke about this place (Idaho) she wanted to enter but wasn't sure how after growing up in Central NJ. I have included an image above I just love the vastness in that work and not just because of the size but also that place...out west everything is just so big.
I have more books from the library to go through and some exhibitions to check out still. While I feel confused I'm trying to keep working and just see a lot and read hoping that it helps. Well I'm tired off to bed....